My 2nd bloggiversary is coming up, and Fall is around the corner, how ironic I started my blog during my favourite time of the year!
Click HERE to see my first post GOODBYE SUMMER LOVE AFFAIR HELLO FALL TRUE LOVE V1
Click HERE to read my 1st anniversary post
Looking back and reading both it hurts a bit, I am no further ahead health wise and my excitement for Fall is very much cloudy 2 years later.
Summer was survivable, I try to be grateful for that statement, it could be worse I think to myself but then immediately am reminded to give it time, it will be worse.
I worry with each passing season what next year will bring, for the past 2 years now my follow up doctor appointments and iron transfusions have become part of Fall, it reminds me of how I wish instead September meant the glorious love I use to feel this time of year.
The photo below may or may not be me in the next few months, today is not the time or place to vent but good old free Canadian health care will not cover my infusions (nor give me the option to pay out of pocket) unless I am below the bare minimum level of iron, even though last years transfusions barely took or worked for long and I went from ideal levels back to bare minimum in 3 months.
I do understand there has to be a cut off, however the chronically ill should be allowed to be treated to maintain more then bare minimum levels.
I’ve spent 99% of the past 5+ years muddling through at borderline minimum iron levels,juggling meds and treatments that don’t work, combined with everything else it makes even baby steps hard most days. Thank goodness for technology, as I type this out on my phone to pre-schedule it from bed.
I have to receive the transfusions at the cancer clinic,over the course of an hour and half -3 to 4 times, I don’t like it, I am reminded of being there with my dad, I can barley make eye contact with the chemo patients without tearing up. and selfishly it scares me beyond anything, I worry about how much sicker I’ll get as well. Having it not take last year also leaves me feeling hopeless, but off I’ll go again once I qualify, not much choice. Hubz is by my side through the treatments, I couldn’t do it without him, it’s very emotional for me, but at the same time I wonder if he wishes he was anywhere but there again, I know I wish it with every breath!
Below are some photos that captured our summer, long gone are the piles of photos and outings we took, outsiders looking in may think; 3 months and so little done, but for me every baby step is still a step I’m still taking.
My nieces visit a few times a week in the summer, I am grateful for the time with them because like my own children they are growing up too fast. I become increasingly sadder with each passing summer with them as well unfortunately, the saddness stems from my inability to do much more with them then just sit and talk and watch tv. I do more when I can but am not the auntie I use to be or want to be.
See you soon, hoping to get caught up on reading everyone’s blogs and be back with some things Fall & Halloween.
Its no secret blogging does not have to be done in real time, I do have things done in advance and the posts about them ready to go as well, some posts still need to be edited and even written, time will tell what becomes published.
Succulents & Sunflowers Growing in our new raised gardens
Our Tomatoe “Trees” Our scarecrow playing peek a boo. He is a Halloween prop but we put him there to scare the birds who were eating all my strawberries. It didn’t work, we ended up relocating the berries closer to the house and managed to stop them.
Our summer ended with my dear hubz having an accident. He tripped on my shoe, fell forward face first into our dogs pallet bed. He needed 11 stitches on the outside and a few inside to repair a gash under his lip.
Sometimes going through these times is what we need to reset our soul. His end of August holidays were spent recovering and that’s no way to spend your holidays, but I am thankful he has a few days left in September and October, and our days spent together then will have that little extra sentiment.
He could have hurt himself worse, it reminded me that I’d never trade having him by my side on the boringest of days for all the fun filled holidays alone in the world.
I won’t be posting any pictures of him, we did of course take a few to look back on, and can slightly laugh at his “Frankenstein” scar now.