DEAR DANDELION B’S DIARY OF ME

Run away, run away if you can’t speak
Turn a page on a world that you don’t need
Wide awake and you’re scared that you won’t come down now…….

~Pieces~ Rob Thomas

 

My thoughts are scattered latley, my heart heavy with life’s twist and turns.

This year started off not all rainbows and cupcakes but nothing noteworthy, just daily struggles of being me, as the month went on it became increasingly less easy to shake off.

Here we are half way through the first month of the new year and I want to hide under a rock in fear of what 2019 has in store for us. I have a to do list a mile long, nothing big noted on it but at this point all still too overwhelming for me.

In the crafting department I planned to cut hearts out of cereal boxes and paint them into snowmen and glue them onto cards, this year I set out to be organized and keep my mind busy even if it meant working on Christmas crafts a mere month after Christmas, 11 months before Christmas seem like a lifetime away but it was my plan.

Winter is long, boring and blue, I figured hearts are Valentine’s Day ish and February is still winter, so I can make a bunch and use some now and put some away.

I hope to still get to some and share them here but if not Dear diary you know I had planned to.

 

I managed to finish crocheting a baby blanket and some baby hats for our 8th niece ( 3 from my brother 2 from hubz sister along with 2 step nieces and now hubz youngest brother) due in February.

I don’t want to say I felt forced or obligated to check that off my to do list but reality is with all that’s been going on the joy I could of felt was overshadowed, but I am full of love now that they are done for her.

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I’ve stuck to working on my organizer journal, I know the in thing is bullet journaling but I beat to my own drum, I have print outs I put in a binder I found at Value Village, which are partially bullet journaling, part organizing, and part adult coloring. I wish I had started this long ago, in a world full of tech I fell victim to relying heavily on it to help me with life, and while my google calendar and google home are lifelines for me and my brain fog, my bright pink binder filled with notes, trackers and coloured pages reminds me I am Sandra, in case you were wondering Ms B does have a name!

In that journal where my January to do list resides I was able to check off one more thing, while we kitten sat our daughters kitten we reflected on adding a kitten to our family. We know our oldest dog is in her last moments of life, and we have decided once she passes our 2 remaining dogs will not be getting any more K-9 companions, but a kitten was a serious thought. To make a long story short, our male cooper took to our daughters kitten so much that we decided we won’t wait for our zoe’s passing, for cooper we will add a kitten as soon as we find one to adopt.

January 3rd we started our journey to find a kitten to adopt, we had chosen a local agency that rescues and rehomes kittens and cats.

January 5th we met and adopted our little Ruby Roo, a 3 month old kitten who had been rescued with her littermates from the streets. She is a joy, a great addition to our clan, a little skittish, understandably so, but she only took a few days to warm up to us, and a week and a half later I think she loves it here with us, we sure love her.

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Dear Diary here is where the rollercoaster of emotions and life’s twists occur…

January 6th our youngest son (13) went skating with hubz and his cousins, I didn’t think much off it  when I heard them return less then 30 mins later, I honestly thought his skates didn’t fit as we feared seeing his feet are growing at a rapid rate, along with the rest of his taller then both of us body.

My heart was shattered as I witnessed my son in tears holding up his arm in pain from a fall he took on the ice, hubz is not reactive like I am, I think it comes with being a mother, the whole they grew inside me for 9 months thing mixed with severe anxiety, but the look of fear in his eyes for our son was unnerving at that very moment.

We headed to emergency out of precaution, all the while there second guessing myself- flopping in my mind that it was nothing, but wondering why 4 hours later he was still cradling his arm for dear life to ease shoulder pain and on verge of tears off and on. Once we were seen and an x-ray preformed my heart sank 1000 miles, my mind racing to the worst case for treatment, the instant tears I felt flowing forced back to be strong for my little guy who now has a broken collar bone. The picture below is from a phone camera shot I took off a screen that was up in the orthopedic doctors office while we waited for him.

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We were able to get seen by an orthopedic surgeon the next day, and if anyone wonders if one can hold their breath for 24 hours, you can, I didn’t breath again until I heard the words no surgery needed!

While we are not out of the woods yet I am nowhere as worried as I was the first week, he seems to be healing on schedule.

 

Dear diary life has been a week and a half of loving on our new kitten, taking care of our son and his broken collar bone, and sleeping on the couch with both of them.

While he keeps his mind distracted on you tube, mama has been binge watching some shows she has been “meaning” to get to. I am usually a comedy kind of girl, or shows like the Chicago One series, 911, Greys and of course I am a TLC junkie, but oddly enough I enjoy paranormal type shows and so I have wanted to watch American Horror story.

I didn’t know what to expect, because if there was to be too much gore I was exiting stage left! I finished season one and was pleased with the paranormal aspects, only slight “gore” and loved the writing. Season 2 is a little more gore but I am hooked on the story line already. Also Netflix’s You had hubz and I hooked as soon as we say the preview, we are impatiently waiting for season 2 now!

 

Below is a printout if you’d like to make a binge watch list of your own, currently the popcorn is coloured in for you, and I am working on American Horror Story and then hope to get onto It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

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Before I head back to our living room camp out I want to thank Mel at décor craft design for nominating me for The Sunshine Blogger Award, nominating others and doing up a post was on that to do list that is now collecting dust in my journal so I hope you understand that I probably wont get around to it, another to do list thing is to find and follow more bloggers, February is another month I suppose. The least I can do is answer your questions today.

  1. Goal for your life? The live everyday like its my last, cliché I know but they truth.
  2. Goal for your blog? to find and follow many more fellow bloggers
  3. Three things must do? find inner peace smile more and accept life
  4. Desired destination you have to go? a Rob Thomas concert ( have been to dozen + rob and Mb20 shows but need to feel healthy enough for more) I don’t fly but if did Ireland!
  5. Precious memory to keep from 2018? Adoption of our kitten cooper
  6. Biggest calendar event? January-adopting our kitten Ruby and son breaking his collar bone, give it time months not over though.
  7. Favorite movie that you have waited to watch? I couldn’t wait to watch life of the party but was disappointed, as far as shows waited years to watch American Horror Story and absolutely love it
  8. Wished skill you wanted to learn? felting and corner to corner crochet
  9. Gift you wanting to share to others? all the chocolate and Ferrero roches I got for Christmas, please have some, save me the acne breakout. Also my gift of treating animals with the love they deserve.
  10. Curious food that you’re going to try? I love salad and I want to try all the salads of the world lol.  
  11. Resolution? I don’t do resolutions, I set goals, I strive to keep my mind busy and hopefully well rested, and to accept myself and how I’ve changed due to health issues

 

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15 comments

  1. Oh my gosh, so sorry to hear about your ups and downs this month. January is my least favorite month. It seems everyone is really sad and upset because the holidays are over.
    Then on top of all that your little boy gets an injury, poor guy. I hope your days start turning brighter.
    I have also been feeling the ups and downs this mouth and will be so happy when my second favorite time of the year starts, Spring. I have been keeping busy de-cluttering our home.
    I figure getting rid of a bunch of stuff we no longer really need will be like a fresh start to the New Year.
    Also getting out in nature, even if it is just sitting outside watching wild birds eat from a $1 store bag of wild bird seed I just bought, well that puts me in a good mood too. We had 40 doves and sparrows visit us the other day. Best dollar I ever spent.
    Anyway, hope your days start getting better and your new kitten is super cute and your crochet baby caps came out great. Hope that sends some cheer your way.

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    • Spring itself is my least fave only because everything is so wet and muddy n gross! I do lovd when april rolls around however and the summery crafting begins and we prep fhe yard for may and summer. I love watching the wild life eat out of our feeder. I purchased it at costco a few years ago it is huge and durable. January is for sure a blue month in general…we did a major declutter summer and fall of 2016 then our flood further aided in it…we have worked diligently since to try and not bring “stuff” back in. But as always its lived in and can always use decluttering…another thing on my to do list!

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  2. Our Spring weather can get a little hot sometimes so I don’t like that because it reminds me of the really crazy hot temps that are headed our way, but I do love the flowers. You are so right about decluttering and how stuff will always be brought back in when we live there. Plus think of all the fun we have when we go out looking for fun projects to redo. This always cheers me up as well. Unless I am having a bad day of course. I still have throat issues but I try not to think of that, it isn’t life threatening but it does bother me sometimes. At least now I know I wasn’t imagining things. I might have a condition called Eagles syndrome. I will know more after a scan. To think I just got over one surgery. I try to focus on the positive, may drive some people crazy but it helps me, especially blogging and sharing with others. It helps to vent now and then, so keep doing what you are doing and hopefully your health will improve. We all need to get things out now and then. I have so many things on my to do list, I have to stop or that will make me crazy. I keep adding things.

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    • So sorry to hear about your health…i try not to go on about mine or even think about it all myself..i guess its like steps of grief you know? Im yet to accept it all but im past the denial the bargaining and the fight or flight stage…but in limbo. I hope for you its not a snowball of symptoms and new diagnosis. I get the not life threatening thing but still need to grieve and vent.

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  3. Yes, so true. It helps to vent with others. Sometimes this is what life is all about, so we take the good with the bad. I am so happy that my tumor came out benign so that is the greatest news from last year and that my voice came back. I guess we all worry sometimes when new things come up. I look at my family and think about how happy they make me and everything is all good after that. My aunt always says to appreciate the bad, otherwise we wouldn’t know just how “good” really feels. I think I am wording that wrong but it is something like that. She also says misery loves company, so I try to stay positive as much as possible.

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  4. Ahh the helpful but dreaded to do lists hey. My daughter was just telling me she started doing something that helped with the pressure of her to do list – she wrote down 12 things off her list and put them each separately on a sticky note on her wall and she just grabs off and address it until she’s done all 12 then sticks 12 more up. She said seeing the notes lessen visually was really encouraging.

    Liked by 2 people

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